September 26, 2012 on what I thought was going to be one of the best days of my life, turned into a complete nightmare that I wanted to wake up from. I remember feeling great this day until night fell. I was 37 weeks pregnant and full term when i started having heavy contractions in bed. I turned and looked at Darrylress and said, ” its time, she’s coming”. We got up and picked up our packed bags and went to the hospital. The whole ride I moaned with tears in my eyes because the contractions were just that bad, and he held my hand in silence the whole ride. When we arrived, he kissed me and said ” I’m right here, don’t be scared”. We checked in and got our room, and as the time went by the contractions got worse, they kept checking to see if i was dilated, but I wasn’t.

The doctors ended up giving me Demerol for the crucial pain. I remember it getting so bad that i burst out in tears saying ” this can’t be how labor suppose to feel”, especially after getting medicine at approximately 3 pm. I got out of the hospital bed to use the bathroom still in pain, once I climbed back in bed and hooked back up to the monitors, her ( the baby) heart rate dropped tremendously. I could remember the nurses, and doctors rushing into the room tugging and pulling me, they told me i would need an emergency C-Section as soon as possible, and they were going to prep me for that right away. They quickly geared me and gave me and epidural for pain, but for some reason i could still feel the clamps that they pinched me with before cutting me open, so I yelled ” WAIT I STILL FEEL THAT!!”. The doctor then gave me more medicine in my epidural to where I couldn’t feel anything else the second time he tried. We were in the operating room for over an hour.

When Kamryn Michelle Alexander finally arrived, i looked at Reese, as he held her in his arms. All I could think about was how beautiful she was and how he stared at her while holding her. I was so drugged up from the medicine they gave me that I didn’t notice that something was wrong until I saw a tear come out of his eye while holding her. Just one single tear and I looked up to the left of me and saw my mother fall out in tears on the floor in the operating room. Ress looked at me and I could tell there was pain in his eyes. He never looked at me that way before. I could not understand what was going on at the time because I still was heavily medicated. I thought he was just holding what looked like our sleeping baby until the doctors and Ress broke the news to me. I should have known from the look he had on his face when he turned to me. The feeling i had laying in the recovery room was ineffable. THE KNOTS I had in my chest felt like I was literally having a heart attack. I waited 9 months to meet a little girl that I wouldn’t even be able to take home.

Those 4 days Ress stayed by my side every single day. When we finally got home, he made sure to step inside before me so he could close the door to the nursery room, mainly so that i wouldn’t see any of Karmyn’s  things we had put together a few days before. The next few weeks had to be the hardest weeks of my life. There were times when i would wake up in pain at 3 or 4 AM and look at him, he would already be up waiting to pass me my meds. He helped me in and out of the shower for the next few weeks to come. There were things i couldn’t do for myself that he was right there to do for me. We held a ceremony for Karmyn, a few days after being released from the hospital and when I tell you GOOD men STILL do exist. This man not only made the arrangements, but got up, picked put my outfit and shoes for the ceremony and got Karmyn something to wear as well. When all I could do was lay on the bed and cry. I never felt so weak and depressed in my life. I am telling my story i hopes to help someone going through something similar. I want to let people know that there is still life after losing a child. Although  it may seem like you can’t go on, you have go so that you can make your children proud. we were lucky enough to be blessed with another daughter Kailyn Alexander on October 9th 2013.

Happy and Healthy!! Angel babies really do exist, she’s a reflection, of Karmyn. As for me and Reese we got married May 20th 2017.


We have fought the odds so many times, but going through this tested our relationship in many ways. GOD made sure that we could get through the hardest thing we’ve ever been through and since we have, there’s NOTHING that can come between us, together we’re UNSTOPPABLE!!


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